I took it to the lord of vampires in the remixed mode today. I didn't think I'd beat him because Annette had given me so much trouble, but luckily his final stage is just the climb to the throne room, followed by the boss fight. And then...I beat him down with nothing but birds. How's that for a "miserable pile of secrets" living in a "cesspit of hatred and lies"?
Of course, Shaft has to show up at the very last minute and kill my buzz by taking Dracula away, ensuring that there'll be a sequel. Thanks for nothing, asshole.